|
|
|
February 1st, 2006
07:34 pm - xcbdf ergt dfvf dbtrbf
<td align="center">You were a loner in high school
You didn’t really fit into any traditional group. You did your own thing and you were very interesting (and intimidating) to those around you.
Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>
|
January 22nd, 2006
04:05 pm - yeah.im that lame.
- Fuck will often rub up against people to lay their scent and mark their territory.
- Fucocracy is government by fuck.
- Fuck are the smallest of Jupiter's many moons.
- Fucomancy is the art of telling the future with fuck!
- Fuck invented the wheel in the fourth millennium BC!
- The pigment Indian Yellow was manufactured from the urine of cows fed only on fuck.
- A chimpanzee can learn to recognize itself in a mirror, but fuck can not.
- In 1982 Time Magazine named fuck its 'Man of the Year'!
- If a snake is born with two heads, the heads will fight over who gets fuck.
- The first toy product ever advertised on television was Mr Fuck Head.
Current Mood: in the mood for another cig.
Current Music: the sounds of typing..
|
January 18th, 2006
06:16 pm - stupid survey.
1. Made out for more than 3 minutes?
of course..
2. Slept in a different bed?
Yes..
3. Drank a whole bottle of alcohol by yourself?
haha....i have a thousand stories i could tell..
4. Made out in the woods?
yep....much fun.
5. Thought your cousin was hot?
um..fuck no.
7. Slept naked?
yes..in summertime.
8. Taken a shower with the opposite sex?
yes..
9. Gone over the speed limit?
5 miles over is standard.
10. Painted your room?
yes...splatter paint...the mother didnt care.
11. Drove a car?
yes...how else could i go over the speed limit?..i dont run that fast.
12. Danced in front of your mirror?
hell no
14. Been dumped?
yes..
15. Stole money from friend?
never have never will.
16. Gotten in a car with people you just met?
not that i can remember..but im sure its happened.
17. Been in a fist fight?
nothing serious.
18. Snuck out of your house?
who hasnt..
19. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back?
its very possible.
20. Been arrested?
ive come close
22. Left your house with out telling your parents?
all the time...
23. Had a crush on your neighbor?
ew.never.
24. Ditched school to do something more fun?
yeah..pretty much all of high school.
25. Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?
Yes
26. Seen someone die?
no.
27. Been on a plane?
yes
28. Kissed a picture?
yes..i was intentionally being stupid.
29. Slept in until 3?
some days i dont bother getting out of bed.
30. Love someone or miss someone right now?
yes..
31. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?
Yes
32. Made a snow angel?
a couple weeks ago....afterwards i ended up dragging a shitload of snow into the house
33. Played dress up?
yeah..when i was like, 5.
34. Cheated while playing a game?
yes..and i still lost.
35. Been lonely?
who hasnt.
36. Fallen asleep at work/school?
school used to be about the only time i slept....sadly i dont have the same opportunity at work.
37. Been to a club?
yes..
38. Felt an earthquake?
no
39. Touched a snake?
hell yes.
40. Ran a red light?
intentionally.
41. Been suspended from school?
amazingly not.
42. Had detention?
in the first grade.
43. Been in a car accident?
no...and i hope it stays that way.
44. Hated the way you look?
always do.
45. Witnessed a crime?
comitted a few of my own...
46. Been lost?
yes..
47. Been to the opposite side of the country?
yes..
48. Felt like dying from embarrassment?
ive had my moments..
49. Cried yourself to sleep?
yes..
50. Sang karaoke?
haha..yeah.
51. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't do?
all the time.
52. Laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose?
no...sounds fun though
53. Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
yep..
55. Sung in the shower?
of course......my favorite song to sing in the shower is "im singing in the rain..just singing in the rain...)
56. Had a dream that you married someone?
no.
57. Glued your hand to something?
yes. superglue is the shit.
58. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?
spoon.
59. Ever gone to school partially naked?
ive had nightmares about that...thankfully its never really happened.
60. Been a cheerleader?
fuck no.
61. Sat on a roof top?
i used to sit on my roof all the time at the old house....
62. Didn't take a shower for a week?
yes
63. Ever been too scared to watch scary movies alone?
no
64. Played chicken?
o?
65. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
jumped in.
66. Been told you're hot by a complete stranger?
yes...frightening.
67. Broken a bone?
my pinky finger. fuck you dodgeball.
68. Been easily amused?
yes.
69. Laugh so hard you cry?
yes..i fell over in tears..
70. Cheated on a test?
yes..
71. Forgotten someone's name?
happens alot.
72. Blacked out from drinking?
i dont remember. (i think that says it right there...)
73. Played a prank on someone?
i used to kill all the overheads at school..and put superglue into the doorlocks (this was in like..7th and 8th grade)
74. Gone to a late night movie?
yes..
75. Made love to anything not human?
no..
76. Failed a class?
failed more than passed.
77. Choked on something you're not supposed to eat?
no..
78. Played an instrument for more than 10 hours?
no..
79. Cheated on a girl/boyfriend?
no..
80. Did you celebrate the 4th of July?
fuck that.
81. Thrown strange objects?
*chuckle* yes.
82. Felt like killing someone?
yes....
83. Thought about running away?
yes..
84. Ran away?
sort of.
85. Had detention and not attend it?
yes...in 8th grade.
86. Made parent cry?
yeah..i felt bad.
87. Cried over someone?
yes..
88. Owned more than 5 sharpies?
um..yeah..
89. Dated someone more than once?
no..
90. Have a dog?
not at the moment..
91. Own an instrument?
two guitars...and a tambourine..
92. i accidentally deleted teh question..but the answer was no.
93. Drank more than 25 sodas in a day?
no.. i think my max is 10
94. Broken a cd?
yes
95. Shot a gun?
yes
96. Been on myspace for more than 5 hours?
i wasnt at the computer...
97. Hurt yourself on purpose?
yes..
98. Have a major crush on someone right now?
not a crush anymore.
99. Had a crush on someone you know you shouldn't?
um...yep.
100. Thought about what people would say at your funeral?
yes..but i dont want a funeral...thus rendering my thoughts pointless.
Current Mood: content.
Current Music: the blender in the background.
|
January 14th, 2006
08:06 am - fucking retarted
i woke up in the middle of the night to a slap in the face..from my own hand. it seems the only time im not sleeping comatose is when my body decides it wants to bitchslap me...
last night i had the craziest dream....which im not speaking of to anyone...for many reasons..haha. but it was great nontheless....
i can hear sirens
yesterday was friday the 13th..and a full moon as well. it was fucking wonderful..aside from the fact that i didnt get completely trashed like i had hoped to. but theres always tonight...tomorrow...and so on.
this entry is rather pointless as i have nothing good to say, and i am tempted to vomit, thanks to that fucking vitamin.
ok.bye.
Current Mood: headachy...depressed
Current Music: the cure
|
January 12th, 2006
02:23 pm - though were falling through eternity, we wont fall very far.
the weather is melancholy/beautiful...
my spirits are 40% alcohol by volume...
if i could kill anything,
i would most surely kill myself..
i havent spoken to alex in two days. so i really dont know what the fuck is going on, but the way i see it, were done. and that doesnt bother me really. apparently jake and andy both have a crush on me....according to niko, leslie, and tim. do you expect me to feel happy about that?
fuck no.
i just want to be allowed to exist...dont fucking hit on me when you dont know me.
and just some pointless information......i actually like andy. hes smart...and open minded..and reads..and drinks... about as much as i do. hes someone i want to get to know better as a friend..and then....well see.
jake...is an asshole when he drinks.and if you cant be a loving drunk..then dont even bother.
thats all i have to say on that.
Current Mood: melancholy..
Current Music: virtual embrace
|
January 7th, 2006
07:48 am - .
i have to keep this locked up inside..
and i dont know why but i cant just say it
my disgust with myself is more than i can handle
im so sick of life but i dont know what the fuck to do
and i dont care.
Current Mood: fuck..i dont know
Current Music: whatever was in my car
|
January 5th, 2006
10:46 am - asfsdf
stole this survey from gael...
1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
bought a pack of cigarettes..legally.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i dont make new years resolutions..ill only disapoint myself.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
no..
4. Did anyone close to you die?
no..
5. What countries did you visit?
mexico...and here.
6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
a dog
7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
plenty of them..
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
i survived..
9. What was your biggest failure?
just the fact that im alive..existance is both a blessing and a curse.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
self inflicted..perhaps.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
new camera.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
nobodys that i can think of
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
mine...that of people in general...even though i knew to expect that from them.
14. Where did most of your money go?
alcohol..cigarettes..gasoline and my cell phone bill
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
i dunno....probably something incredibly stupid.
16. What song will always remind you of 2005?
long december...by the counting crows
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier..
ii. thinner or fatter? thinner..working on losing some more...
iii. richer or poorer? richer..
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
learning
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
being my usual stupid self
20. How will you be spending New Years?
i spent it in the er with a good friend..
21. What myspace users did you meet?
um...who cares
22. Did you fall in love in 2005?
i suppose..
23. How many one-night stands? none...
24. What was your favorite TV program?
forensic files/south park/the simpsons...i dont know.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
of course....i had a whole damn year to meet new people...then grow to hate them.
26. What was the best book you read?
read too many to remember
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
i dunno....wish i could actually say something smart in response to that question..but i cant.
28. What did you want and get?
another camera...and i ended up getting three. (one manual 35mm..and 2 digital)
29. What did you want and not get?
whatever ive always been looking for...never lost..but cant seem to find.
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
anything with fucking zombies.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
i dropped out of school...it was my 18th birthday present to myself.
32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
im really quite happy with what ive got....really..its more than i ever expected..or deserved for that matter.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
black..baggy..and way too many fucking layers. oh yeah..and my fucking worn out black boots.
34. What kept you sane?
my close friends...cigarettes/alcohol..music.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
fuck them. fuck them all.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
i stopped paying attention to politics. fuck that shit.
37. Who did you miss?
not going to say
38. Who was the best new person you met?
robert...he doesnt have the link to my lj..but his name is still going on here.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005.
just stuff....nothing specific..
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
i love to say fuck.
Current Mood: ..
Current Music: ..
|
January 4th, 2006
05:01 pm - asdfasdfasdfasdf
tonight im going to minneapolis to hang out with one of my friends...im so fucking desperate to get a job there...fuck this suburban shit.
alex and i are probly going to break up..were just too different..and dont really click. so whatever.
i should just become a pay per fuck whore.
or something like that..
too much caffeine today...im starting to crash....i think my stupid bodys finally realized that all the energy it has isnt from food..cuz..ive barely been eating these last few weeks..and its twiggin out on me.
funny.
Current Mood: caffynated
Current Music: my damn sister singing..
|
December 26th, 2005
11:14 am - lalala
Time started:11:14am
First Name: rhiannon
Single or Taken: taken
Sex: sure, why not.
Birthday: december 2
Siblings: 2
Eye color: weird
Shoe size: 9 to 9 1/2....8 1/2 if im wearing guys shoes.
height: 5'9"
Innie or Outie: innie
What are you wearing right now: black jeans..gray t shirt..black zip up hoodie..black socks..my underwear doesnt match.
Righty or lefty: lefty
------------------------------------------------------------
Relationships
Who is your best friend: they know who they are
Do you have a BF or GF?: yes...see question number 3
Did you send this to your crush: no.
Best place to go for a date: somewhere dark ;)
Colors: chrome black..what does that have to do with relationships?
Number(s): 4
Animals: are cute
Drink: gin
Fast-Food Place: dont really care..
Month: dont care about that either
Movie: the crow
Juice: naked-green machine
Favorite cartoon character(s): garfield
Given anyone a bath: nope
Smoked: pot, cigarettes.
Bungee Jumped: im planning on it..one of these days
Made yourself throw-up: no...my gag reflex isnt that good.
Gone skinny dipping: noo...
Eaten a hot dog: um...duh.
put your tongue on a frozen pole: yep
Loved someone so much it made you cry: yes..
Broken a bone: once....
Played truth or dare: yes
Been in a physical fight: yep..
Been on a plane: plenty of times
Come close to dying: yeah..
been in a sauna: yes..
been in a hot tub: yes...warmth is good
swam in the ocean: rip tides are fun.
Fallen asleep in school: i used to get almost all of my days sleep at school...
Broken someone's heart: i dont konw
Cried when someone died: yes..
Cried in school: not since like..5th grade
Fell off your chair: all the time
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: nope...
Saved AIM conversations: ive saved TRILLIAN conversations...aim sucks.
Saved e-mails: yes..its called being too lazy to delete them.
Have You Ever Fallen for one of your best friends? yes...not a good idea, but were still friends.
Used someone: more the opposite..
Been cheated on? not that i am aware of..but probably.
What is...
Your good luck charm: i dont have one.
What's your room like: a complete fucking mess/full of plants.
Last thing you said: i dont remember..but i was talking to myself.
What is beside you: my computer tower.
Last thing u ate: frozen blueberries
What kind of shampoo do you use? fructis..or pantene pro v
Best thing that has happened to you this week: i hung out with my friends..
-have you had..
Chicken pox: yes...much fun.
Sore Throat: who the hell hasnt..
Stitches: yep..
Broken nose: no..thankfully
DO YOU:
Believe in love at first sight: yep
Like school: no...doesnt matter anymore though because im not in school.
What schools have you gone to: too many.
Eat a live hamster for $1,000,000. dollars: um.....the money sounds enticing...but.....no.
If you were stuck on an island, what 5 people who would you want with you: my 5 closest friends..
What makes you laugh the most? stupid shit.
What makes you smile? music....connections.
who is the last person you yelled at: orli. (the sisters cat)
Who broke your heart last: i dont have a heart, metaphorically speaking.
Who told you they loved you last: my mother.
Who Is your loudest friend: i dont know....
Do you/Are You:
Do you like filling these out: if i get bored enough..or am in a sarc ass ticky mood.
Do you wear contacts?no..
Do you get along with your family: if i avoid them enough.
Stolen anything over $50: yes....somehow got away with it too.
obsessive: at times..
Compulsive: impulsive.
Anorexic: no..
Suicidal: no..
Final questions
How many people are you sending this to: none. fuck that.
What are you listening to right now? the computer making weird noises
what did you do today: woke up..ate food..smoked a cigarette...played mario..went to the gym..smoked another cigarette..came back here..ate more food...and sat down in front of the computer.
any awards: hahaha...thatll be the day.
What car do you wish to have: im happy with the car i have now.
Where do you want to get married? : its rare that i think that far ahead.
If you could change anything about yourself: i am who i am...deal with it.
Good driver: erratic..distracted..but overall im ok..i guess.
Good Singer: not in my opinion..
Have a lava lamp? no...ive run out of free power outlets in my room.
How many remote controls are in your house? 4?
Are you double jointed: eew....things shouldnt bend that way.
What was your last dream about: sex..drug deals...and vacations.
Last time you showered: yesterday..ill shower today after i dye my hair.
The last movie you saw at the theatres: aon flux.
milk chocolate or white: dark.
root beer or dr. pepper?: dr. pepper..
Mud or Jell-O wrestling: mud is edible too
Vanilla or chocolate: vanilla..
Skiing or snowboarding: snowboarding..
fall or winter: fall
Silver or Gold: silver
Diamond or pearl: sapphire
Sunset or Sunrise: sunset
Sprite or 7up: sprite
Orange juice or apple juice? orange......goes better with other things.
cats or dogs: dogs
Coffee or tea: coffee!
Phone or in person: in person..
Are you Oldest, middle, youngest: oldest out of the immediate "family"..but i have an older brother who ive only met once.
Indoor or outdoor: outdoor..as long as theres no bugs.
End Time: 11:43am
Current Mood: ok.
Current Music: five for fighting..easy tonight.
|
December 25th, 2005
01:00 pm - x rated..
christmas always leaves me feeling so empty inside. its fucking dissapointing..i dont deserve to feel happy or recieve anything..i dont want anything really...but at the same time i want the world. fuck, i hate that.
the mothers boyfriend, peter, who shes trying to find a way to break up with....gave her 500$ in 20s hidden in 5 different wrapped presents, along with other things...it was horrible to see that. to know that hes giving and all hell get in return is hurt.
the sister got some cookbooks..diet pills..and lots of food. just what a bulimic needs. its as if they are telling her its a good thing to do that to yourself. what the fuck.
i know i should be happy..the whole point of christmas is to pretend that everythings ok, while moving the food around on my plate to make it look as though im actually eating something..even though i can barely bring myself to take a bite. i hate feeling like this.
my friends have been so fucking good to me..and i dont even know what i can do for them. im not good at expressing that through words...but i want them to know how fucking much they mean to me.
i can try to distract myself by geeking up my computers..writing..reading..taking pictures with my new camera..attempting to get the cd burner on the computer to work right again....smoke or drink myself stupid...
but this emptiness wont go away. its always there..in the back of my mind...burning a hole through my sanity.
for once..i wish i could say that everything was good..and actually mean it.
Current Mood: depessed..
Current Music: ddr in the background
|
December 20th, 2005
04:10 pm - need some passion in your life? JOIN NOW FREE!
i havent updated in a while...lifes been really fucking hectic lately. in both good and bad ways. mary dumbfuck scheduled me for friday and saturday morning, both times that i plainly stated in my availability that i cant work...i told her that, and she just said that if i cant work those days, then i should just go work at lakewinds instead of byerlys. i said whatever..and went back to work...so angry i could fucking cry. i hate that bitch. im fucking sure she lied to me about the message i left with customer service, that i CANT work those days-no questions asked. then she went on to insult the person who was working there at the time. at the end of my shift i told thomas....'im quitting' and that was that.
he gave me a number for human resources-to call and complain about mary, but i lost the paper. fuck. im just glad i dont have to put up with her anymore. but now i have to find a second job..
though i must admit im fucking loving all this extra time i suddenly have.
last night i drove to downtown minneapolis to hang out with a friend at their music studio....it was great. even though some jackass almost crashed into my car...and i somehow managed to get myself very lost...haha. i think i pretty much know where im going now though.
tomorrow i have to work from..i think...10-4..but dont quote me on that. on thursday night im probably going to allisons house...and as usual, were going to drink and smoke and just bullshit about life in general.
ive been thinking lately...i really love my friends. the ones that i consider 'true friends' ...theyr fucking awesome.
and thats that for now.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/happy.gif) content
Current Music: some stupid emo shit the sister and her friend are playing
|
December 17th, 2005
07:53 am - welcome to the found new hardware wizard.
today is yet another 12+ hour work day. and my hand is numb in one part, and tahts kind of scaring me a little bit because its been that way since last night. hm..
i got two paychecks yesterday..still need to deposit them into my checking account though. and i have no idea when ill do that.
the temperature is once again 0 degrees. fuck.
i have nothing more to say..other than coffee is good..and my hand is stil numb. yep.
Current Mood: ok..
Current Music: fear cult--sexbeat
|
December 14th, 2005
05:43 pm - fuck retail
its one of those days when i wish i was unemployed...but then i get to thinking about it too much, and realize that as nice as being a true bum would be, i need money to pay for my cell phone...car...booze..and cigs. so technically..employment has me fucked.
mary domek was working today and wouldnt fucking stop bitching at everyone. its like...just shut the fuck up for a minute and maybe well actually have time to get something done.
one customer i cashiered and bagged groceries for was carrying out her bags and apparently one of the handles broke.. or something like that...she complained to mary, telling her that im a snob and shit. dumbass cunt. i dont make the bags, and i asked if you wanted to drive up..so shut your fucking mouth. and im not snobby. the appropiate term would be apathetic. ill spell it for you..
a
p
a
t
h
e
t
i
c
if you dont like it, then dont bother trying to interact with me.
im just glad that mary let me leave early..i really didnt feel like being there anymore today.
tonight im going over to alexs place...he talked with his mom and i think things have been resolved. she hates people who wear alot of black for some odd ass reason, so im actually going there looking remotely normal. and i hate it. but if i can get her to just chill out and not end up hating me again..then its worth it. i hope.
around 10 tonight im leaving alexs and driving to leslies place. everyone whos always there is going to be there again tonight....the topics of discussion always end up being very entertaining.
last night we spent half an hour talking about how tim, leslie and nikos roommate..and andys brother, made the toilet overflow and soaked the mat on the floor in the bathroom...then he carried it through the house and onto the porch..where it sits to this minute. sounds stupid when i type it in here...but the side comments were definitely interesting.
i think im out of things to say...
so bye.
Current Mood: angry/depressed/apathetic
Current Music: papa roach..time and time again
|
December 13th, 2005
11:39 pm - ..
its snowing...its snowing..and teh roads are show. so why did i drive 'home' with at least 4 drink in me? i dunno...but im alive. and i drive just fine semi drunk.
in fact..im drunk right now. weeeeeee.
anyhoo..off to sleep...
Current Mood: .
Current Music: .
|
04:42 pm - random shit.
im giving up vegetarianism...i did it for 5 years, and now with how much ive been drinking and smoking lately...i think itd be better for me if i had a more concentrated source of amino acids..so yeah. whatever...
work was fucking busy as hell today. as usual mary dumbfuck understaffed us, and the only people there to bag the groceries were less than mentally capable. about 5 minutes after i got back from my break...i looked at the credit card machine, and there was a huge white spider walking across it. i shrieked a little and jumped back...then looked at sally and said "theres a fucking spider on my credit card thing"..by which time it was crawling around my register...so in desperation, i grabbed a wet wipe and killed the fucker. and then quietly went back to working.
i was thinking about going over to alexs place after work, but his mother would have been back from work at any moment..and she still hates me. you know, because im a dropout. way to fucking judge. bitch.
tonight im probly going over to leslies for a while..if i do, i might ask her to pick up some beer for me.
i dont know why but lately ive been feeling really dissatisfied with myself. im a fucking failure...not just in other peoples eyes, but in my own. and thats what bothers me. i want to be something i can never be...and then theres all this other shit thats going on...maybe im taking it too personally? the pathetic way the parents are trying to make christmas sound like something thatll actually be fun this year...false cheeryness.
last year, the mother broke down crying when she opened a present the father gave to her. theyve been divorced for three years now..i told him...your fucking divorced..why the hell are you giving her gifts?? it totally shattered the "lets be happy because its christmas" mood....the air got heavier...i felt at fault.
ive been cutting again....the few people who knew made me promise i wouldnt do it anymore. i cant fucking stop....theyr going to hate me. and i deserve it.
right now i dont know what to think. im ok and then again im not. lives going alright....but maybe it isnt. beneath the surface..everything seems to be fucked up.
NAME = rhiannon
PIERCINGS = 3 in left ear...6 in the right
TATTOOS = none....yet..
HEIGHT = 5'9"
HAIR COLOR = blue/blonde/black
SIBLINGS = sister..and a step brother ive only met once.
LAST:
MOVIE YOU RENTED = been too long to remember
MOVIE YOU BOUGHT = dawn of the dead.
SONG YOU LISTENED TO = unconditional---the bravery
SONG THAT WAS STUCK IN YOUR HEAD = same as above..
THING YOU BOUGHT = cigarettes and eyeliner
CD YOU LISTENED TO = fuel--natural selection
PERSON YOU'VE CALLED = alex
PERSON WHO'S CALLED YOU = nicole?.
TV SHOW YOU'VE WATCHED = the 750 lb man
PERSON YOU WERE THINKING OF = alot of people..
DO:
YOU WISH YOU LIVED SOMEWHERE ELSE = yes..always.
YOU THINK ABOUT SUICIDE = yes. doesnt mean ill act on it though.
YOU BELIEVE IN ONLINE DATING = if it works for you...
OTHERS FIND YOU ATTRACTIVE = i dont know.
YOU WANT MORE PIERCINGS = fuck yes
YOU LIKE CLEANING = yes...as long as it isnt my room.
YOU LIKE ROLLERCOASTERS = hell yeah.
YOU WRITE IN CURSIVE OR PRINT = more like scribbly italics.
FOR OR AGAINST:
LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS= for
SUICIDE = against....
KILLING PEOPLE = against.
DRIVING DRUNK = against.
GAY/LESBIAN RELATIONSHIPS = for
SOAP OPERAS = fuck soap operas. life is dramatic enough..
HAVE YOU:
EVER CRIED OVER A GIRL = yes (friend..not girlfriend)
EVER CRIED OVER A BOY = yes
EVER LIED TO SOMEONE = yes
EVER BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT =yes
WHAT:
SHAMPOO DO YOU USE = whatever i can find...
SHOES DO YOU WEAR = black harley davidson boots
ARE YOU SCARED OF = bees and spiders.
NUMBER:
OF TIMES YOU'VE BEEN IN LOVE = a couple
OF TIMES YOU'VE HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN = meh.
OF HEARTS I HAVE BROKEN = i hope none.. i have no clue.
OF GIRLS I HAVE KISSED = hmmmmmm....i was drunk.
OF BOYS I HAVE KISSED = a couple
OF GIRLS I'VE HAD SEX WITH = none
OF BOYS I'VE HAD SEX WITH = 1
OF PEOPLE I WOULD CLASSIFY AS TRUE, WOULD TRUST WITH YOUR LIFE FRIENDS = maybe a few..
OF TIMES MY NAME HAS APPEARED IN A NEWSPAPER = never
OF SCARS ON MY BODY = over 300............
FAVORITE:
4 LETTER WORD = fuck...obviously.
ACTOR/ACTRESS = i dont care
CANDY = gummi worms.
CARTOON = simpsons or south park
CEREAL = life
CHEWING GUM = anything minty
COLOR(S) = dark purple/chrome black
DAY OF WEEK = dont care
LEAST FAVORITE DAY = probably all of them
FLOWER: i dont remember its name
JELLO FLAVOR = meh
JEWELRY = whatever..
SPECIAL SKILLS/TALENTS = i dont really have any
SUMMER OR WINTER = summer
TRAMPOLINES OR SWIMMING POOLS = trampoline
SMELL = dont care
PERSON WHO LAST:
SLEPT IN YOUR BED = me
SAW YOU CRY = its been years...
MADE YOU CRY = a friend..
WENT TO THE MOVIES WITH YOU = alex
YELLED AT YOU = hmm...i dunno
SENT YOU AN EMAIL = friend from work
HAVE YOU EVER:
SAID "I LOVE YOU" AND MEANT IT = yes
GONE OUT IN PUBLIC IN YOUR PJS = yup
KEPT A SECRET FROM EVERYONE = yes
CRIED DURING A MOVIE = not for a couple years
EVER OWNED ANY NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK MERCHANDISE = no
PLANNED YOUR WEEK BASED ON THE TV GUIDE = yeah...
BEEN ON STAGE = yes
BEEN TO NEW YORK = no
HAWAII = no
SPAIN = no
CHINA = no
CANADA = yes
EUROPE = yes
ASIA = no
SOUTH AMERICA = no
AUSTRALIA = no
WISHED YOU WERE THE OPPOSITE SEX = yes
WHAT TIME IS IT NOW = 5.00pm central time
APPLES OR BANANAS = bananananana
BLUE OR RED = blue.
WALMART OR TARGET = ragstock.
SPRING OR FALL = fall
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WHEN YOU FINISH THIS = sit here
LAST MEAL YOU ATE = a couple peanuts?
ARE YOU BORED = a little bit
LAST NOISE YOU HEARD = my cat purring
LAST SMELL YOU SNIFFED = air
LAST TIME YOU WENT OUT OF STATE = october
EVER BEEN CALLED:
DUMB = yes
RETARDED = yes
UGLY = yes
HOT = yes
FAT = yes
ANOREXIC = yes
A WASTE OF SPACE = yes
USELESS = yes
SMART = yes
QUIET = yes
BORING = yes
A BITCH = yes
REBEL = yes
CURRENTLY:
WHAT ARE YOU WEARING = clothes
WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO = no one
HOW IS THE WEATHER = cold....
WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO = my cat purr
WHAT/WHO ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT = just things.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO = not much..
WHAT ARE YOU DREADING = meh..
HOW ARE YOU FEELING = tired
HOW IS YOUR HAIR = its fine thanks
WHAT ARE YOU ANNOYED BY = people
EMOTIONS:
WHAT EMOTION DO YOU FEEL THE MOST = numb...
WHAT EMOTION IS THE BEST = usually something drug induced
DO YOU DO DRUGS = yes
DO YOU HAVE A MENTAL ILLNESS = according to doctors yes..
DO YOU HAVE AN EATING DISORDER = used to.
WHAT KINDS OF ILLNESSES RUN IN YOUR FAMILY = suicide
PERSONAL:
WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR PET PEEVES = customers
HAVE YOU EVER LIKED SOMEONE YOU HAD NO CHANCE WITH = yes.
DO YOU HAVE A TYPE OF PERSON YOU USUALLY GO AFTER = no.
DO YOU WANT SOMEONE YOU DON'T HAVE RIGHT NOW = of course..
WOULD YOU PIERCE YOUR NOSE = yes..ive done it twice
YOU SERIOUS OR FUNNY = meh
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/sleepy.gif) tired
Current Music: fuel
|
08:47 am
worky again today...then probably sit around the house..watch some tv...draw...do nothing....
i have no fucking life.
Current Mood: hmmmmmm
Current Music: hmm..
|
December 12th, 2005
12:40 am - im still fuckin cold...what the fuck??
so...alexs parents hate me. long story short..im 18, hes 22..and all they know about me is that im a dropout. so that basically sums it up. but well see......
im in the process of chugging me some vodka. what i hate about it is that it takes a while to kind of take effect...but its working now....
yeah...
...mmmm....
Current Mood: gettin crunked..
Current Music: whatevers on the radio..
|
December 11th, 2005
05:28 pm - la dee fuckin da..
Name Four Bad Habits You Have:
1. disorganized
2. impulsive
3. random
4. blonde.
Name Four Things That You Wish You Had:
1. warmth
2. coffee
3. a brain
4. my damn paycheck.
Name Four People That Know You the Best:
1. they
2. know who
3. they
4. are
Name Four Things You Are Thinking About Now:
1. friends
2. i shouldnt have to wear my fucking jacket in the house
3. nicotine
4. sex drugs and industrial.
Name Four Things That You Have Done Today:
1. worked
2. then i worked out
3. got food
4. sat on my ass in front of the computer
Name the Last Four Things You Have Bought:
1. food
2. gifts for the parents
3. cigarettes
4. gas for my car
Name Four Drinks You Regularly Drink:
1. coffee
2. water
3. liquor
4. coffee
First Grade Teacher's Name?: mrs muskin. i only remember that because she hated me, and gave me detention.
Last Words You Said: damnit.
Last Song You Sang? some elton john song that was playing while i was at work.
Last Person You Hugged? alex
Last Thing You Laughed At? myself.
Last Time You Said 'I Love You' And Meant It? couple days ago?
Last Time You Cried? week ago
What's In Your CD Player? german industrial
What Color Socks Are You Wearing? black
What's Under Your Bed? alot of shit. seriously.
What Time Did You Wake Up Today? 6.45...took me 15 minutes to get out of bed though.
Current Taste? saliva.
Current Hair? blue/black/blonde.
Current Clothes? black jeans..black longsleeve and black shortsleeve shirt..jacket.
Current Annoyance? i keep coughing.
Current Longing? i dunno..
Current Desktop Picture? some outer space thing
Current Worry? nothing at the moment.
Current Hate? me
Favorite Physical Feature Of The Opposite Sex? depends on the person..usually eyes.
Favorite Place To Be? my bedroom..or my car.
Least Favorite Place? doctors office..
Time You Wake Up In The Morning? anywhere from 4 or earlier...10
Favorite Color? dark purple
Do You Believe In An Afterlife? yes
How Tall Are You? tall enough..
Current Favorite Word/Saying? fuck
Favorite Season? anthing warm...but i hate the sunshine.
One Person From Your Past You Wish You Could Go Back And Talk To: theres always someone.
Favorite Day? i dont have one.
Where Would You Like To Go? somewhere warm .
What Is Your Career Going To Be Like? i am a corporate whore.
How Many Kids Do You Want? 0
Favorite Car? mine, fucker.
A Random Lyric: dont blame me..i just work here..but i wanna...FUCK YOU!
Describe yourself: ..
How do some people feel about you?: they probably hate me. do i care? no.
How do you feel about yourself?: is that quesiton really necessary?
Describe your interests: things interest me...and some things dont.
Where would you rather be?: im quite satisfied where i am.
Describe what you want to be: me.
Describe how you live: barely.
Describe how you love: it goes unannounced.
last car ride: an hour ago
last kiss: today
last library book checked out: its been a while....
last movie seen: aon flux..
last book read: alot....
last cuss word uttered: fuck..
last beverage drank: water
last food consumed: beans and rice w/lettuce
last crush: meh
last tv show watched: i shouldnt be alive..on the discovery channel?
last time showered: today
last shoes worn: my usual boots
last downloaded: music
last disappointment: myself
last soda drank: cream soda
last thing written:stupid poetry at work
last key used: k..
last sleep: last night..
last IM: crs
last ice cream eaten: vanilla soy ice cream
last time wanting to die: whenever
last time hugged: today
last time scolded: always :P
last time resentful: today
last chair sat in: this one..with the bottom falling out of it.
last lipstick used: all natural lip balm
last underwear worn: black..what a fucking surprise
last bra worn: white. fuck yeah i dont match.
last shirt worn: alot of them.
last show attended: dropkick murphys..in san diego cali.
|
04:44 pm - where oh where has my circulation gone? oh where oh where could it be??
the weekend is finally almost over. yesterday just fucking dragged on....i finished my 6 hours at lakewinds..then rushed off to byerlys..and by 8.00...i didnt care what time it was anymore, just that my feet and legs..and entire body hurt like hell from running around all day.
my next paycheck had better be good.
tomorrow i have the whole day off..fuck yeah!...tonight...i hang out with alex for a while.and then....binge drinking!!!
im so fucking retarted.
what the hell..its like..68 degrees in here, and i just shivered...the father is gone somewhere, and im guessing the sister went back to the mothers house. the cats ran upstairs, so its just me..a half empty bottle of water..and the computer. the lights in here are sort of blinding me. and i just heard the phone ring.
i stepped outside of work today, and it felt like i was in a movie..the camera following me from the side, choreographing my every more into some unwritten script....i step off the curb..unlock my car..open the door..and get inside..close the door, light a cigarette. its such a weird feeling...like for those short moments, you become so fucking aware of every little sound..movement..the life around you....and then you have to slam on the car breaks so you dont hit the car thats parked in front of you, because in this blur of awareness, you accidentally put the car in drive instead of reverse.
Current Mood: im ok..
Current Music: sex...drugs..and industrial.
|
December 8th, 2005
05:05 pm - shut up and smile.
today ive done almost nothing. my cars tires need air though so i need to remember that....yesterday was really tiring. i had my first shift at lakewinds where i was actually doing work instead of just training...it was confusing at first, but i caught on pretty quickly. byerlys on the other hand.....im not too intent on these double shift things. or maybe its just that last night people were bitches.
some lady walks up to me when im cashiering and asks if we carry wd-40. i told her i didnt know but id get a manager. so i page thomas over the intercom thingy...and geri comes. she tells me to page grocery..which i try to do..but the phone doesnt want to work. now, lets get something straight here....i HATE the intercom. and i hate it even more when it doesnt work..and im standing there like an idiot trying to make it work. there were customers in line..i was the only person there aside from sarah (a bagger) and this one old customer dude who didnt even go in the line..he just walked up to the register, totally disregarding the other people there, was being very fucking impatient...and it was at that moment..i had a little freakout.
it was seriously almost exactly like the ones youd see on tv...where everything just slows down and you...well...freak out a little.
then you have to redeem youself....act like it never happened..and continue on with your life. the world goes back to its normal speed of rotation..and you shut up and smile.
so anyways, geri eventually came back and found the wd-40 shit...and the old impatient prick eventually left..and things kind of reverted back to normal.
i spent most of the rest of the night beating up one of the registers that kept ranomly restarting itself. and thomas didnt care.
saturday is going to be a bitch. i have to work at lakewinds from 9.00-3.00..and then rush over to byerlys to work from 3.30-10.00.
thats a fucking 12 hour day. wait....12.5??
bloody hell
tomorrow is the opening day of lakewinds in chanhassen, the one i work at. im working from 9-3...and from what i hear its going to be a madhouse.
great.
this entry is getting way too long......but i (as always) dont feel like bullshitting about whatever is really going through my head.
so im out.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/cold.gif) cold
Current Music: bile...fucking loser
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
4ever_nevr_more's journal